Five Christmases
by CaptainSparrow09
Summary: Four Christmases that went wrong for Miles and Nora and one Christmas that went right.


Disclaimer: Not mine. They belong to Kripke.

* * *

**1.**

Two hours. He was supposed to be here two hours ago and he hasn't shown yet. Nora stares pathetically out the window, looking down the snow covered street for any sign of Miles. Mia huffs somewhere behind her and she can just imagine the irritated look on her sister's face.

"Look, he's not coming. Can we just get on with our night?"

"He's coming. He's just... busy."

"It's Christmas. What could possibly be so busy?"

A thousand excuses run through her head. There was an attack somewhere. He got held up in meetings. Christmas wasn't really important post-blackout. She never explicitly used the word _Christmas _when she invited him over. She said, _you'll be over Wednesday right? _Miles was the Commanding General of the Monroe Militia. He had bigger worries than if it was Christmas or not. She says none of these, knowing Mia would just criticize anyway. She's always making excuses for him.

She brushes off the no-show and downs a glass of wine. She hadn't really expected him to come anyway. Miles doesn't seem like the Christmas type of person. She insists that it doesn't bother her. But it does. Because she had been hoping that she actually mattered to him, that he wanted to spend this special time of year with her. Instead he was probably getting plastered with Bass in a bar somewhere.

Later that night, when it is no longer considered Christmas, and long after Mia goes to bed, Nora feels a cold body slide into bed next to her. She tenses for a moment but remembers the key she had given Miles.

"It's freezing out there. Probably another foot of snow too." he mumbles into her shoulder. She doesn't say anything, waits for him to apologize, to say Merry Christmas or I love you, materialize a gift from somewhere. When none of those things happen, she feels a tear slip down her cheek. She doesn't know whether he's playing dumb on purpose or she has the unfortunate fate of dating a completely clueless idiot.

* * *

**2.**

The house is obnoxiously loud, filled with more people than usual, and Miles works his way through the crowd, looking for Nora. From the second level of the mansion, Bass and Jeremy observe his motions.

"Wasn't Nora supposed to be here?" Jeremy asks quietly. Bass shrugs silently, keeping his face neutral.

"He was free to invite whoever he wanted just like the rest of us were."

"Doesn't seem like her to back out of showing up for something."

Miles stops a waiter, grabs a glass of scotch, and swallows it quickly. His left hand disappears into his pocket for what seems like the thousandth time and Jeremy frowns. It's not like Miles to be so obsessive about something. Bass doesn't seem to realize. The truth is he knows what is in the pocket and that it's partially the reason why Nora was missing. He may or may not have had something to do with it. He also may or may not have been snooping around Miles's office earlier in the week and found the simple ring hidden in the desk drawer filled with pencils and paperclips.

Miles can't get married. The idea was ridiculous and once Nora was gone from the picture, he would see how stupid he was being. Bass was doing him a favor. Except Nora's feelings for Miles were equally ridiculous and there was no way she was leaving on her own. The only possible scenario was to make her leave and as her employer, he had procured a job for her. And he may or may not have slipped in a few lies while he was at it. _You're not what he wants or needs. You understand, don't you?_

He stares down at Miles, sees the pain hidden in his expression. No one else but Bass would realize that. Miles is amazing at hiding his emotions but not from Bass. Bass knows him better than anybody. Bass knows what he wants and needs. He knows he should feel ashamed for his actions but he only feels relief. Once again, he's managed to keep Miles to himself.

* * *

**3.**

She hadn't been expecting them back so soon. She had been picturing a lonely Christmas while he was out on the battlefield. Nora approaches the bar they frequent with a spring in her step. Miles was finally home. She couldn't imagine a better gift. Citizens of Philadelphia spill out into the streets, celebrating the Republic's victory over the Plains Nation. The bar is buzzing with activity as she enters. She knows they take over the back room for these impromptu celebrations and begins to squeeze her way through the crowd to find Miles.

She reaches the doorway and finds them assembled. They're loud, raucous, and generally merry. Bass stands on a table, a large bottle swinging from his hands, and a grin as wide as Texas on his face. He orders one bartender to serve another round to the room, then breaks out into an off-key Christmas carol. His soldiers begin to repeat and she has to laugh as she moves further in. Finally she spots Miles, or at least the back of him. As she approaches, he turns slightly and she stops short, seeing the woman pressed against the wall in front of him. Petite, skinny, and blonde. The woman laughs loudly at something he says and he grins, obviously pleased with himself. He braces one hand against the wall, leaning into her. Miles never even notices Nora. She turns angrily on her heel and storms from the room, bumping roughly into soldiers as she goes. Bass starts moaning about how he'll have a blue Christmas as she reenters the main part of the bar. Blue Christmas indeed.

* * *

**4.**

Miles stands outside Nora's apartment, peering into the window. He's not sure he can do this. He had given himself a pep talk all the way from his own home but he's still not sure. Christmas has ceased to exist for him. Christmas now consists of sitting with Bass and Jeremy and seeing who could get drunk first. Bass has refused to celebrate since his family's deaths. Jeremy didn't seem to mind it either way- only pretended just because he wanted to fit in with Bass and Miles. Christmas reminds Miles of Chicago, of home, of fighting with Ben over who got the better toys, of cuddling Charlie by the fireplace reading _The Night Before Christmas_, of literally everything he's lost over the years.

He watches Nora from the window as she smiles brightly and laughs with Mia and several of their close friends. He should be in there but he's not. This Christmas could be the chance to start over. He could find whatever it was that he had lost with Nora, knew she was more than willing to do so. He knew he wanted it just as bad as she did. Still, the fact remained that nothing good could last forever and the fear of losing her terrified him. He's not sure what would happen if he went through another loss, especially one as important as her. Probably fall further into the dark spiral that had become his life. He can't do this. He quickly turns away from the window before she can see him, and hunches his shoulder against the cold as he starts to walk back in the direction of the house.

* * *

**5.**

The door opens with a loud creak and Miles sighs against the pillow, subtly tugging the blanket up to his chin. If he just pretends he is still asleep...

"Dad?" the voice is so close to his ear and so suddenly as well that he nearly jumps. "Dad? You awake?"

A finger prods him in the shoulder, gently at first, then growing in impatience and fervor.

"Chris, poke me again and you're going to lose that finger." he grumbles. Nora's hand comes down painfully on the top of his head.

"Talk like that to my son again and you'll lose more than a finger."

He merely grumbles again, something about how she picks and chooses when the kids are hers, his, or theirs.

"Daaaad," Chris whines quietly. Miles sighs again, refusing to open his eyes. If he does, he's going to see the clock and he knows an ungodly hour is going to be staring back at him. "I think-"

"There are presents! Santa came!" even from down the hall the excited voice is so high pitched it sounds like glass breaking. Miles is thinking that those oncoming footsteps sound too much like a herd of elephants to be one tiny four year old when said tiny four year old launches herself at him. She lands on him with a giggle and he groans at the sudden impact. "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, you gotta come look!"

"I believe you."

"Are any mine?"

"You weren't supposed to peek." Chris chastises Ava seriously. Miles hears Nora's amused chuckle. There is the unmistakable sound of a raspberry being blown.

"Stop." he immediately diffuses the situation, knowing if he let them, a brawl would break out. "It's too early to fight. And don't think Santa won't come back and take the presents away."

Nora's chuckle grows into an uncontrollable giggle and Miles finally opens one eye to look at her. She's smiling at him with a tender look in her eye that he's sure has to do with the fact he has horrific bedhead, their children are currently clinging to him like he's a human jungle gym, and he's threatening Santa Claus. Oh, if the world could see the fierce General Matheson now. Not his finest moment, yet at the same time it is.

Realizing their bedroom is still dark, illuminated only by the weak light pouring in from the lamp in the hallway, he gently rolls the kids off him and onto the mattress, wrapping his arm around them both.

"We're going to go back to sleep for a little bit." he says quietly. Instantly, there are whines and complains. "Shh. It's too early."

"But our presents!"

"They'll still be there. Trust me. Better to get some more sleep. You won't be able to stay awake when Charlie gets here if you wake up now."

The kids fall silent and stop their squirming at the sound of their cousin's name. In their opinions, Charlie was as important as Santa. She was an excellent blackmailing tool.

He knows they aren't going to fall back asleep but if they're quiet and don't move too much, he just might be able to get another hour in. He presses his face into Ava's unruly mop of curls and sighs contently. He glances up when he feels Nora's fingers lightly stroking over the back of his hand. She's smiling at him again and though neither of them say a word, they both know what each other is thinking.

Ava breaks the spell they're under when she twists around, digging her toes into his stomach.

"Daddy," her voice is a soft whisper, not wanting to break the rules but still tempted to anyway. Not even the threat of no Charlie can stand in the way of Christmas. He sighs, this time in defeat, and his wife laughs again.

"Fine." both kids are out of the bed before he even finishes the word, arguing all the way down the stairs to the living room. Miles looks at the clock- 5:02. "At least it's better than last year."

"I don't understand why you even bother trying to fight them. Your efforts are futile." Nora rolls onto him, pressing a soft kiss against his mouth. He lifts a hand, pushing her hair out of her face, and returns the kiss. "Wrapped tightly around their fingers."

"Shh. They might not realize we're not down there yet." he lowers his mouth to her neck, encouraged by the quiet noise she makes.

"DAD!"

"Yeah, good luck with that." she slips away from him and leaves the room, flashing him a coy smile over her shoulder. He takes a moment, then follows after her, hovering at the top of the stairs. He watches the three of them-Chris and Ava trying to identify the wrapped gifts and Nora trying to keep order-and sends a silent thank you to whoever might be listening.

"Daddy, one's got your name on it." Ava is staring up at him with a brilliant grin that can only be Nora's and shakes a small box at him.

"Just one?" he climbs down the rest of the stairs and sits on the couch, tickling her as he pulls her into his lap. "I guess the rest are yours huh?"

"Open it."

"No, you guys go first. Youngest to oldest."

"That means you're last." Chris says, an innocent expression on his face. "Cause you're old."

"Thank you. Now hand your sister a present please."


End file.
